We Must Tune in to What Our Children Are Really Saying
Show You Are Really There
Hearing The Hyper Child
Sometimes, the loud hyper child is really trying to ask us to help them slow down, while the apathetic opting-out child is screaming to join in. We need to learn to read the cues that are hidden in their non-verbal communication.
I have met many parents in recent years, who are no longer able to communicate with their child, because of their frustrations with children’s behavior. Communication has broken down, as parents can no longer able to see the child from behind the behavior. I would like to help you to re-awaken a curiosity in your child’s behavior, and to learn to leave some of the old frustrations behind.
Watch this short video I have made to help you understand the hidden messages in what your child is saying. Then, read through the rest of this e-guide. At the bottom of the page, you will find some great ideas for games, that will help to re-open that precious connection between you and your child.
If you find the tips useful, please like and share the video, so that others can benefit too!
Hyper-activity and apathy are two ends of the same spectrum. Many behaviors we see in children are their means of managing the activation in their body following a significant life event. Following a traumatic experience, one child may withdraw completely from his environment, while another may run around shouting and roaring.
While the hyper-active child may tell his story through grand gestures and movements, the apathetic child will be more inclined to more subtle, and often un-noticed, behaviors. Instead of becoming frustrated, we can tune in and observe our children with curiosity.
We need to learn how to really listen to our children. Listening involves a lot more than just hearing the words that are being spoken.
Listening is Multi-Faceted
Why do Children Play?
Good Games For Re-Connecting With Kids
There are some specific games that can be very good for re-opening your connection with your child. Dedicate at least twenty minutes per game, so that your child knows that they have your full attention.
Tug of War
As well as being a vital form of bodily contact with you, a safe person, these exercises stimulate a sense of readiness, so the child is capable to deal with real-life situations.
These exercises are particularly good for the fearful child because it allows them to feel their inner strength; it simulates the idea of fighting back, or defending themselves.
The child who presents with low, or inhibited behavior, can move towards greater expression vis-à-vis these games, and be awakened to the here and now.
If your child presents with more hyper-active behaviors, these games may seem counter-intuitive; and it may seem like the game will only hype them up further. However, after playing a few rounds, with breaks in between, your child will return to a more ‘normal’ physiological state. The game helps your child to bring scattered energy to focus on concentrate on one focus point – their hand, foot, etc.
Even watching another child play this game can elicit positive reactions in children. Play the game with other siblings until they become interested. Keep it fun, and try not to force the issue if they do not feel like engaging.